When it’s a viable option, leaving a violent relationship can be the most dangerous time for a survivor. Next steps can be unclear -- perhaps a survivor doesn’t have access to financial resources, a safe place to go, or the support of loved ones to navigate their next steps. For many, confidential domestic violence shelters have always been an essential resource. Since La Casa was founded over forty years ago our Shelter has consistently provided survivors with a safe, non judgemental place to process their experiences and explore their next steps and goals.
The Shelter in Place order has had a profound impact on the lives of survivors -- and we have seen and heard it, firsthand. Now more than ever, our Shelter is a necessary resource for many. We spoke to our Shelter Manager, Daisy, who shared with us what sheltering in place and social distancing mean for residents, and how we continue to support survivors through these unprecedented times.
Tell us a little about yourself. What brought you to the anti-domestic violence movement & to La Casa?
I've always wanted to work with women and teen girls and empower them. I'm a survivor of teen dating violence, and I've always wanted to empower and educate women and girls.
“I think the order scared a lot of residents, so some chose to leave. Normally residents would be looking for housing, for example, but currently they’re not able to go out and look at apartments or rooms for rent. Their safety and situations are in limbo until order is lifted.”
Tell us about La Casa’s confidential shelter. Why is it an important resource?
The Shelter is very important because survivors are at highest danger when they end an unhealthy relationship. An abusive relationship is all about power and control. An abusive partner wants to control a survivor, so if they leave and end the relationship, the abusive partner loses power. This may make the abusive partner want to try even harder to regain control, and so the violence escalates. Having a safe place to go, like our Shelter, provides survivors with a safe option where they don't have to choose between being in an unhealthy relationship or experiencing homelessness.
What kinds of services are available to residents at Shelter?
The services available at Shelter are case management, counseling, support groups, and children's groups. We also have a cook and nutritionist who helps ensure our residents are eating healthy meals every day.
There is a lot of concern right now about how the Shelter in Place Order is impacting survivors of violence. What has this been like at La Casa’s Shelter?
Many of our residents actually left Shelter when it began. I think the shelter in place order scared a lot of residents, and so they chose to leave. They said they were going to stay with friends or family, but we don't know if they may have returned to their partners. We've gotten many calls from people looking for resources, calls from people who need shelter but are afraid they'll get sick.
For our current residents, the Shelter in Place has been very stressful. Normally residents would be looking for housing, for example, but currently they’re not able to go out and look at apartments or rooms for rent. Their safety and situations are in limbo until the shelter in place order is lifted. Residents have to eat in "shifts" so that the dining room isn't crowded, and support groups have been canceled to comply with social distancing. Face-to-face case management has also been reduced. It’s a hard time for survivors.
“We should be checking in on and reaching out to loved ones we think might not be in healthy relationships. Ask them if they need supplies, drop off groceries as an excuse to check up on them, call them and ask "yes or no'' questions so that it's safer for them to talk.”
How are you & the advocates at Shelter supporting survivors during these challenging times?
We continue to do our work, just like any other day. We're providing residents with a lot of reassurance and reminders about how to stay healthiest especially during this time, and are working with them to achieve their goals even though everything is changing so fast. We try to stay 6 feet away from residents, and clean and sanitize surfaces and frequently-touched objects constantly. We check in with our residents every morning & evening to ask them if they’re experiencing any symptoms of COVID-19 and take their temperatures. We have masks available for survivors, and new residents are required to wear a mask for the first 24 hours of their stay.
We have a lot of different supplies at the shelter. There is no shortage of toys, games, or books. We have a TV for family movie nights and a playroom with lots of games and art supplies. There's a backyard with a play structure for children so residents can get fresh air when they need to. We also have a library with lots of books. We are providing residents with things like facials, nail polish, and lotions so that they can practice self-care. We’re trying to keep things as normal as possible for residents, recognizing they’ve been through a lot and are going through a lot in this time.
“I love what I do. Knowing that women and children are safe because of our shelter is rewarding, and the majority of our residents are so grateful to be here. It gives them time to clear their mind and choose the next step in their lives.”
How do you think people can support survivors and people in unhealthy relationships they may know, especially through periods of social distancing?
This is a difficult time for survivors that have to shelter in place with their abusive partners. By being forced to stay in an unsafe place where they are constantly being monitored, reaching out for help right now is difficult for many survivors. We should be checking in on and reaching out to loved ones we think might not be in healthy relationships. Ask them if they need supplies, drop off groceries as an excuse to check up on them, call them and ask "yes or no'' questions so that it's safer for them to talk. La Casa’s crisis line and text lines are always resources, too.
The Shelter is a force at holding the frontline for survivors of domestic violence as they navigate their next steps. What is that experience like?
I love what I do. Knowing that women and children are safe because of our shelter is rewarding, and the majority of our residents are so grateful to be here. It gives them time to clear their mind and choose the next step in their lives. Earlier this week I went to the store to get food for the shelter and because of the pandemic, stores are restricting the number of items you can buy. I had to put some spaghetti sauce back. I was paying with a check and when the cashier saw "La Casa" on the check she asked me if I work for La Casa. I told her I did and she said, "I stayed at your shelter 10 years ago. It really helped me. I'm going to let you take the spaghetti sauce.”
How are you staying positive and taking care of yourself?
I take it day by day. I reach out to Kathy, our executive director, to problem solve. I check in with my staff, who are all very supportive. And I have a hot tub at home, so that helps!
If you or someone you love needs support, know you're never alone. Call La Casa's 24/7 crisis and support line for support: 1-877-503-1850. If you can’t talk, message our text line: 415-200-3575.