When the COVID-19 crisis hit this Spring, many of us thought that come the holidays we would all be back to “normal” celebrating the season with our friends, family, and loved ones. Unfortunately, the coronavirus has not gone away, and COVID restrictions are changing holiday traditions. Large family gatherings, holiday parties, and many small get-togethers will be canceled to stop the spread of the virus. Already tight holiday budgets will be stretched even thinner and family dynamics will be tested.
For survivors of domestic violence, however, the holiday season has always looked different and this year is no exception.
While research studying the connection between domestic violence and holidays or special events (we’ve all heard the unsubstantiated rumors about Superbowl Sunday) is limited, we do know that factors like financial stress, holiday expectations, increased alcohol consumption, and isolation from social supports can increase the risk and intensity of domestic violence. As families remain sheltered in place and continuing activity restraints loom on the horizon, we wanted to look at the risk factors that may be exacerbated in the coming months and share tips and strategies to increase safety and support during this difficult time.
Financial Stress & Holiday Spending Expectations
Pre-COVID, planning out a holiday budget to cover gifts, meals, and activities--especially for families with children--was already a huge challenge for many. This year, financial crisis and strain is impacting millions of families and individuals across the nation. Unemployment, reduced hours, and a lack of sustained federal or state support has many of us struggling to find a way to cover regular expenses, let alone any holiday extras. For survivors already experiencing financial abuse, the added stress of holiday spending presents unique challenges and intensifies an already dangerous situation. Financial abuse on its own can be dangerous. It’s one of the biggest influences on whether a survivor can successfully and safely leave the relationship. Even for survivors who have managed to leave, that may be just starting out on their own or still living at an emergency shelter, support from community organizations to help provide food, shelter, and other basic necessities are vital. After close to nine months of increased demand, the resources of local organizations are depleted leaving many of those same families unable to meet their families basic needs, let alone put gifts under the tree.
Tip #1: tap into informal support
For all of us, but particularly for survivors, one strategy is to tap in to our existing support networks as much as possible - not just for any financial support that may be available, but to meet other basic needs. Reach out to friends, neighbors, family members or whoever you can trust to come up with a support plan for the next few months. Now more than ever, our informal support networks are key to withstanding this crisis and remaining safe through it all.
Increased Alcohol Consumption
The holiday season usually leads to increased substance use, especially alcohol, due to the celebrations and gatherings that take place. But this pandemic itself has led to its own increase in substance and alcohol abuse. For survivors of domestic violence, especially those who were already struggling with substance abuse, this poses an even larger threat of increased abuse. While we know that alcohol consumption alone does not lead to domestic violence, the link between increased or excessive alcohol consumption and increased violence in already violent relationships is well-established. While restrictions on large group gatherings might signal fewer opportunities for excessive drinking, the continued isolation, financial pressures, and lack of outside resources will undoubtedly lead to a continued rise in substance abuse.
Tip #2: plan ahead
As survivors look forward to the holiday months, we suggest ongoing safety planning that takes substance abuse into account. Survivors can work with a trained advocate or trusted family member to plan for what to do and where to go should an abusive situation escalate due to substance use. Whether in their own home or visiting others, planning ahead for multiple possible scenarios could help reduce harm and keep families safe until more formal support is available.
Increased Isolation from Support Systems
As we continue to socially distance from our friends and family, the mental health impacts of that distance have been noticeable. Not only have we all been coping with extra stress, anxiety, and grief, but access to mental health services have been drastically impacted due to the public health crisis. As we discussed in our previous blog post, for survivors of domestic violence this mandated isolation can make a dangerous situation even worse. Isolating survivors from their support systems and resources is one of the most common tactics of abusive relationships. This includes social isolation, but can also include physically isolating their family, or as mentioned before, from economic resources that might enable them to leave the relationship. Under “normal” circumstances isolation can be a dangerous form of abuse and with fewer places to go safely outside of the home, it can quickly turn deadly. Historically, the holiday season was an opportunity for many survivors to spend more time with loved ones than they might have usually been allowed.
Tip #3: schedule check-ins
As shelter in place orders are extended or reinstated, finding creative ways to connect with loved ones will be key. Survivors should plan ahead for ways to safely communicate with their support systems. By scheduling regular virtual or distanced check-ins with loved ones, survivors can ensure that they have an ongoing connection to their support systems and can keep lines of communication as open as possible.
How to Support Survivors During the Holidays
This holiday season will be difficult for us all, but survivors of domestic violence are having to reimagine the holidays, all while still managing the abuse occurring in their homes. There are steps all of us can take to check-in on our loved ones and remain safe this holiday season. If you are worried about a friend or loved one who might be experiencing abuse, consider reaching out to schedule a virtual gift exchange or meal. Organize a drive-by celebration or a distanced lunch. Keeping lines of communication open, in whatever ways are possible, can be extremely impactful for those experiencing abuse. Creatively adapting traditions in new and safe ways are small things we can do to help support ourselves, our families, and survivors during an emotionally trying time.
At La Casa, while we’ve had to adapt our plans for the holiday season as well, it is critical that survivors know that support (and a bit of holiday cheer) is still available. Our emergency shelter and crisis support line (1-877-503-1850) remain open and available to survivors 24 hours a day 365 days a year. If calling is not a safe option, our Text Support Line (1-415-200-3575) is available as well. Residents at our shelter and clients in our programs will all still be able to celebrate the holiday season with family meals, gifts, all while surrounded by a caring community. While we know survivors may be at an increased risk over the next few months, at La Casa, supporting survivors of domestic violence remains our top priority year-round.