Over the past three months, we’ve asked you—our community—to share with us your favorite relationship lesson to live by, to break the cycle of violence. You’ve responded, helping us build a list of 35 Relationship Lessons to Live By, as we celebrate all that our community has learned during the past 35 years of La Casa’s support for survivors of domestic violence! Now, each day throughout Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we’ll be unveiling one of the Top 35 Lessons to Live By—here, and on our Facebook and Twitter pages—to raise awareness of domestic violence and what it takes to create healthy relationships!
We asked you to share your favorite Lesson with us through various channels—online, in person, and over the airwaves! Thanks to a partnership with Clear Channel, many of you heard a public service announcement on one of its seven Bay Area radio stations.
Some of you asked us to share your names and ages along with your lesson; others wished to remain anonymous. These lessons aren’t in a particular order—there is no hierarchy. We all know that adaptability is part of a healthy relationship, but here are 35 Healthy Relationship Lessons to Live By!
35 Healthy Relationship Lessons to Live By
1. “Relationships should be reciprocal, supportive and balanced. Learning to love yourself first, before trying t
o love someone else, is the most valuable lesson in life!” -Sylvia Gomez, age 45
2. “The only place to look for change is within myself. I cannot control others, or wait for them to change. I have to look inside and let that voice guide me.” -Anonymous
3. “You are strong.” – Anonymous
4. “Una relacion saludable se base en respeto mutuo, respetando los limites que pone cada persona. No significa no, la primera vez que se dice. Respetar el espacio y la privacidad.” -Anonimo
“A healthy relationship is based in mutual respect, respecting the limits that each person sets. No means no, the first time it is said. Respect each other’s space and privacy.” -Anonymous
5. “Maintain your individualism. It can easily be taken away over time; you might not even notice. Keep your hobbies; stay close w/ your friends; keep doing the things that make you happy…everyday.” -Antonia W., age 33
6. “Wholehearted communication! Be open to the possibility of learning something about yourself. With patience and practice 
you can learn to be a better listener, it goes a long way!” -Anonymous
7. “Listen to your intuition, if your gut is telling you something about a potential love interest then it’s best to take some time to figure things out.” -Clara, age 20
8. “We are worthy to be treated as well as possible. Our children are worth respecting and honoring and I will accept no less… anymore. Only the best from now on.” -Anonymous
9. “El amor. Comprension. Respeto y comunicacion entre la pareja. Ayuda mutua. Nadie tiene que ser o sentirse o menos uno que el otro.” -Anonimo
Love. Understanding. Respect. Communication between partners. Mutual support. Nobody has to be or feel more or less than the other.” -Anonymous
10. “Honor yourself . You can’t feed anyone else from an empty bucket.” -Anonymous
11. “Love is letting someone be themselves, embracing their individuality and humanity, and allowing each person to grow independently as well as together.” -Anonymous
12. “Healthy boundaries create healthy relationships. Setting boundaries in ALL of my relationships gives me a strong sense of self and the confidence to communicate my feelings.” -Gigi Rosales, age 34
13. “Make yourself priority. Honor your feelings. Forgive yourself. Never give up on love.” -Anonymous
14. “Trust and honesty. Most importantly, stay true to yourself, know your likes, dislikes and keep up with your hobbies and what’s important to you.” -Anonymous
15. “Keep the focus on myself and my desire to live from my heart, and take risks to be the courageous woman I am. Know that a true relationship won’t ask me to compromise my truth.” -Anonymous
16. “Es necesario el respeto y la comunicacion. Comprension y el amor a la pareja y a la familia. No permitir que nos humillen o que nos griten.” -Anonimo
“Communication and respect are necessary. Understanding and love for the partner and for the family. Don’t allow ourselves to be humiliated or screamed at.” -Anonymous
17. “A marriage license is not a license to hit.” -Anonymous
18. “No matter what, you have to breathe to live, however you live. Just concentrate on breathing in and letting breath out. The exhale should always be longer than the inhale because that is when we let go.” -Anonymous
19. “Maintain your own identities and follow your own passions. When you both seek to further yourselves, it is infinitely more interesting and exciting to love each other.” -Kira Detko, age 26
20. “Sha
re honestly with your friends who really care about you. Spend time with your true friends. Spend time with people who truly cherish you and vice versa.” -Anonymous
21. “Expect the same respect in your relationship that you would give to other people.”
22. “Para mi una relacion saludable es sin violencia para bien de mis hijos y tambien para mi salud.” -Anonimo
“For me, a healthy relationship is without violence- for the wellbeing of my children and for my health.” -Anonymous
23. “Always speak your truth. Use your voice.” -Anonymous
24. “You are your own compass and you can navigate your life any direction you wish no matter how turbulent the ocean.” -Anonymous
25. “Always remember you ARE supposed to feel LOVED.” -Anonymous
26. “Don’t talk negatively about your spouse to your children….EVER!” -Jamil Kanika, age 61
27. “Kn
ow yourself, your values, your dreams, your visions. Spend time doing the things you love. Take care of plants and or your pets.” -Anonymous
28. “Follow your gut instincts. I could remember small things in the beginning of my abusive relationship that were questionable that I ignored. Had I listened to myself, I wouldn’t have stayed with him.” -Anonymous
29. “Learn to love yourself completely before loving anyone else and you will know what true love is and what it isn’t!” -Anonymous
30. “Your partner should feel good when you feel good. Your partner should not feel intimidated or resentful of your happiness.” -Colleen Maltby, age 42
31. “Listen to your intuition and don’t 
ignore warning signs such as jealously and belittling/name calling.” -Anonymous
32. “Treat others with the same respect you expect to receive.” -Elizabeth, age 45
33. “Be comfortable, happy, and confident with yourself first.” -Karen Baskind
34. “When in doubt, smile. Smiles bring perspective and levity to the moment. Smile!” -Anonymous
35. “Stay positive for your future.” -Anonymous
You can still help us spread these lessons far and wide! Please join us on Facebook and Twitter to share our daily Healthy Relationship Lesson posts with your online networks, to help build awareness and healthy relationships among our friends, families, and communities. And you can further this awareness by watching and sharing 1000 Voices Strong: 1 strong voice can change a life. 1,000 voices can change our community.
